


New world

by missingkitsune



Category: Bleach
Genre: AU, Crack, Gen, ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:36:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2006058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missingkitsune/pseuds/missingkitsune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>COMMENTS: Nanao tries out some of the new equipment that’s being put to use in the Soul Society, She really wants to hear the truth. Will she get the truth?  </p><p>I know I’ve done one similar to this before but I just couldn't resist the subject.</p><p>DISCLAIMERS: Bleach and all characters belong to Tite Kubo, Unbeta’d so all mistakes are mine alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New world

New world

As the Soul Society began to convert the old systems to newer technology most of the Shinigami took to the new gizmo’s faster than they could draw a sword.  
Most used them out of necessity and everyday work, Some embraced them wholeheartedly. Then there were the ones who wanted little to nothing to do with the new stuff.  
Captain-commander Shunsui Kyoraku was one of the latter. Oh he learned them all well enough not to call for help at the smallest inkling of trouble, he just found them bothersome and more trouble than they were worth.  
The computers for instance. He was bemused by them. He could get his work done at a quicker pace and still waste time. Which in turn annoyed his lieutenants to no end. He LOATHED the printer/copier and fax machine as they made more of the damnable paperwork for him to do. He didn't want to admit he liked the cellular phones but mostly because they had interesting programs and applications that he could waste more time on, plus he could talk to Ukitake across the Seireitei in a matter of seconds, even when the man was ill.  
Ukitake was one who embraced these modern marvels. He had a large screen TV, DVD players, several cell phones. computers, printers, fax machines, you name it and he had it. Most were gifts from the other captains who knew that these toys would keep the often sick man entertained during his down time. No one could say no when he aimed those green puppy-dog eyes at them. Even Ichigo Kurosaki had brought along a huge collection of DVD's that he thought Ukitake would enjoy. Which he did.  
Back with the Captain-commander, his first lieutenant had discovered a new machine that she was dying to try out on her captain.  
A lie detector test. She chuckled to herself as she set up a plan to get him to take this test. It became an obsession for her.  
She finally tied him down to a chair with a high level kido spell and strapped the machine up to all the vital points. There was a slightly evil grin on her face and Shunsui thought that just maybe he might have pushed her just a little too far.  
The questions started off easily as the manual had instructed. They steadily got harder and harder.  
Only the needle never moved.  
Hadn't she hooked it up right? She double checked the manual and glanced over how she had strapped it on his body.... No everything was right.  
Did that mean he wasn't lying? It couldn't be. He was just tricking it some how, or manipulating it with his reiatsu. She clamped a pair of reiatsu blocking binders on his wrist.  
"Nanao-chan if you want to play kinky games with me, you're gonna have to try a little harder." He smirked. She stopped short of smacking him for that tease.  
She decided to get tough. "What exactly does your bankai do?"  
He wove an elaborate tale that in no way be true. It was the most unbelievable story she had ever heard. Yet the needle didn't move. Not even a waiver.  
They were interrupted by a very startled lieutenant of Squad Nine who happened to show up early with his paperwork and a copy of the monthly magazine. Nanao hit on an idea. This hapless fellow would be a great person to test if the machine was working properly.  
He nearly bolted for the door when she suggested the idea to him. Panic was clearly written on his face. But a Squad Nine soldier doesn't back down from any challenge, so he got himself as comfortable as he could and waited nervously as the straps were wound around him.  
The investigation started out slowly like before the rapidly build up steam. He began to sweat and tremble, especially when the questions were centered around Rangiku Matsumoto. One time he nearly passed out from the massive nose bleed, and the needle was waggling off the charts.  
So the machine worked fine. It was the test subject. She released the shaky lieutenant and sent him on his way.  
She eyed her captain suspiciously. Either he was telling all truths, which didn't seem possible, or he was the best liar in Soul Society. She coaxed him back into the chair and began again.  
Still the needle never wavered with every answer. Even one’s she assumed where wrong. There was no way this sneaky, lying devil was telling all truths.  
"Why do you always keep me out of battles?"  
"To keep you safe of course, I can't let anything bad happen to my precious Nanao-chan."  
"Why? and if you say it's because I'm female I'll slap that beard right off your face."  
"I don't wish for you to be hurt."  
"I AM a trained soldier you know, I can take care of myself." She snapped.  
"Yes I know this." he bowed his head. "But I can't risk losing you."  
"We all take that risk. Do you know how many times I sat waiting for you to come back from some battle, hoping that you hadn't been injured or worse, killed?"  
"I know."  
"Yet you still hold me back."  
"I can not lose you."  
That time she heard it. The way he emphasized it on himself. He'd be lost. He'd miss her, He'd protect her no matter what. It stung a little bit of her pride.  
"I'm able to make those decisions on my own."  
"I will not lose you." He pleaded.  
Still not a jot from the needle. "Are you drunk right now?"  
"Maybe a little." Nothing. All truth.  
Ukitake walked in at that moment and darted over to find out what was going on. He stood back and let out a few tsking noises.  
"That thing will never work on him, Nanao."  
"WHAT? Why?"  
Juushiro Ukitake began to unbuckle the contraption from around Shunsui. "Well for one It's very hard to tell when he's telling the truth or lying to your face. Even Sensei could never tell for sure."  
"He could tell you with all sincerity that your hair was on fire and you'd believe him even if it was obviously not true. He's just very skilled at keeping his composure under dire circumstances."  
Shunsui stood up and brushed himself off. "Well I was telling the truth though."  
"Really?" Ukitake looked shocked. "That's unlike you."  
"So he's really a lying scoundrel after all?" The vein in Nanao's temple began to throb.  
"No no that's not quiet it either." The pale captain stammered. "He's just really good under pressure."  
"I tried everything." Nanao pouted. "I even asked him about his bankai."  
"Did he tell you?"  
"He told me something. I don't know whether to believe it our not." She went over the story as Shunsui had told her, Ukitake nodding at all the right times.  
"Yes that's how it works." Nanao just gaped at him.  
"That is seriously creepy and messed up."  
"That's why I don't use it often." Shunsui straightened out his hat. "I'm done for the day Nanao-chan, you can do what ever you wish." He strode out of the office with a flutter of cloth.  
"I .... I don't understand. Why didn't the machine work on him."  
"Shunsui has the unique ability to look a person straight in the face and and tell you a lie, He's always been that way as long as I've known him. He's also faking all the times he's dead drunk and half lying about all the time he's asleep. It's so people constantly underestimate him." Ukitake paused for a bit. "It's how he knows as much as he does. People think he's either too drunk to remember or sound asleep and can't hear them. I can't even count the times those tricks worked for him during our training years. Or finding out about some coup ready to take place to dispose Yamamoto-soutaicho."  
"It's just his nature to be sneaky and dark. It's best to just let it go this time. You really don't want to know what's going on inside that head, heart or soul. I've seen it and it's scary. You wouldn't survive it."  
"Is that why he keeps me out of battles?"  
"Mostly. Plus he's afraid."  
"Him?"  
Juushiro nodded. "After that whole thing with Lisa....well even before that. He's lost other lieutenants before, we all have. He hates losing." He suddenly let out a laugh that startled Nanao, "He hates losing at anything. Cards, drinking games, dares.... He's a very sore loser."  
"In fact I should probably go look for him, or he'll get into trouble." He place a comforting hand on Nanao's shoulder. "Try not to take it to heart. What he does and the way he does it all have a bigger picture attached to it. If that line never once wavered than he was telling the truth to the best of his abilities. But that's just how he is. That's why he's the Captain-commander and I'm not." He shook his head. "I'd get caught up in the whys and wherefores where Shunsui just sees it all as a big lie, One of his favorite old sayings is [You can't bullshit a bullshitter.] I didn't understand it at first until I actually saw it in action. He'll eventually let you in on that side of him. It took years for him to trust Lisa-san enough. Don't feel bad."  
He coughed lightly. That was more speaking than he had done in awhile "I'm going to have to go catch up with him, Don't be so down about it. Just be glad he's on our side Imagine that mind in enemy hands or worse as the enemy. I'd give up right away, quite frankly."  
He turned and made his way to the door. "Just remember he's a great liar and a great leader. Sometimes they need to go hand in hand." With a cheery wave he was gone.  
Nanao was left, staring at this useless piece of junk that would never work on her captain. Then she realized that there were lots of other shinigami she could try this thing out on and get some interesting results.  
Maybe this should be part of the new screening process for new recruits. An evil glint came back to her eyes. This could be a great advantage.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Ukitake caught up to Shunsui in no time, since he had just been waiting in the courtyard for squad one.  
"Happy with yourself?"  
"Not particularly no, why? Shunsui cast a tired looking eye in his direction.  
"How much of what you said was a lie?"  
"About half I reckon."  
"You're slipping, You'd normally make it about eighty five percent lie."  
"It's just a machine, just another annoying machine. They're pretty easy to beat."  
"I know I know. So how about a drink."  
"First sensible thing I've heard all day." The warm smile was back on that long face. "First rounds on me. You pick the bar."  
"I never said we were going to a bar." Juushiro winked and walked away. "I was thinking of that lovely tea house down by the river in northern district one. You know with the fire dancers."  
Shunsui stood his ground like he had been hit by a hammer. "Now wait just a damn minute. When you say drink like that, it's implied that actual drinking will be involved. Not damn tea."  
"Is that not drinking?" was the innocent reply.  
"You've been hanging around me too long, You're picking up my tricks." Shunsui grumbled. "Fine tea and fire dancers, but after-wards it's sake and strippers."  
"As always." was the pleasant reply.


End file.
